Have you ever had a conversation with someone and realized that, though your life may not be exactly as you wish, you aren’t really doing all that bad? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life currently, which I guess usually happens when you’re in transition and changes are coming. I keep thinking about decisions I’ve made and how some things could have been different. It usually isn’t a good line to follow because there is no point in dwelling on the past. It happens, though, and I’ve been there lately, just trying to figure stuff out. Normally most of the people I talk to have their lives together, making progress and doing the things they want. Sure, it could mean that most of the people I know are above average, which I’d like to think is a quality of being my friend. 

However, the conversation I had today just made me really think about how bad things could actually be. I try not to have any delusional thoughts about where I am in life. I really wish some things in my life were different, but I’m working on that. Some decisions I wish I could take back, but we’ve all been there, and there is no going back to fix things. Unless you’re on Quantum Leap, then I guess you have free reign to destroy that whole line of reasoning. The person I spoke to earlier just seemed so fake. Like you know in movies when you’ve got the person who is supposed to bluff their way out of a situation and they are so nervous, or unsure, that they just botch it so badly that you can tell they are completely faking it. That was the impression I got. Like they wanted everything to be so great when they really did not believe it was.

I’m going to take just a second to say that if you’re sitting there thinking that I’m talking about you, you’re wrong. This person was so deluded about their own life that I imagine they think everything is okay. In fact, I’m sure of it. They have tricked themselves into thinking life is great. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for understanding where you are in life and accepting that and making plans to change anything you don’t like. But they were so confused about what they wanted in life that they tricked themselves into thinking they were okay with it. But it wasn’t a complete job, so they were still convincing themselves as we spoke.

I don’t know how people end up that way. It sounds mean to say, and everyone knows I’m not really that kind of person. Okay, maybe I do tend to be rather direct about situations sometimes, but what in the world happens to people that they think of their life this way? The worst part about it is I know that if they’d just come to reality and accept some things, make some changes, they would be okay. But they aren’t going to change. They will continue to convince themselves that the problem is not with them. It’s with the world for thinking differently than they do. Maybe we get set in our ways as we get older, and that is just shining through. I hope I don’t ever do that to myself, but maybe it’s possible and I was just looking into the face of the future.

But honestly, if that’s my future, more than likely I’ll drive my motorcycle off the Grand Canyon.