The first part of today was amazingly productive. When I get in a pretty good rhythm at work I can get a lot done and the time seems to fly by pretty quickly. However, I made the mistake of stopping to eat lunch. Once that happened, I pretty much lost all steam to move forward. Days like these are the worst. I want to get stuff done, but I can’t really bring myself to make an effort. Even as I sit here and type this, I don’t really feel motivated to do anything. It doesn’t help that I’m typing it on my work computer, with a screen so large that it feels like I haven’t typed more than a line or two.Â
It is only Tuesday and I feel like I need another weekend already. This week is going to be full of late nights as I have to do the COBA poll this week. But, I think I have a few days coming up in the next couple of week so it will be good to get some rest. I think that’s the problem, I don’t really get any rest when I rest. I think I need to take a few days and just do nothing. A slug day, indeed.
I graduate in a couple of months, and I haven’t really decided what it is I am going to do. Do I start another masters? I feel like I’m so tired of going to school, but at the same time, I feel like I need to do something to make progress. Just sitting idly in life doesn’t really feel productive. I’m working, but I don’t really think this job has much of a future. I’m sure I could stay for a long time, but I’d never really advance myself. I guess that is the worst part about this job. I know that if I work really hard I’ll end up with the same exact thing if I just scrape by. I guess that’s the problem with being a state employee.
That’s why I want to continue my education. I see other people who are snapped up or offered amazing jobs because of their skills and abilities, and I feel like that doesn’t happen with me. Maybe I’m just young. But that’s going away pretty fast. Silly to think that 28 isn’t young, but I honestly don’t feel young anymore. And I know it’s only going to get worse.
So a student just walked into my office and demanded to know where someone else’s office is. I guess that’s the price to pay for having an office next to the stairs. I get asked directions at least twice a week, and usually I have no clue where they need to go. So many people work in this building that I’ve never heard of. The layout of the building is so confusing, that even though most people know the office number they are looking for they can’t find the office. And I really don’t know. I guess I could just close my door, but then people would assume I’m slacking off. There is some expectation that if you are here you have to be visible to people.
Oh well. I might need a nap. Sadly I have no bed.