…opened his eyes and rolled over to look at the alarm. It had not gone off, but he had awakened for some reason. He fought with himself in the early morning, struggling to figure out what had changed that awoke him from his slumber. It was the silence, the room was deathly quiet, but that was not the silence that had awoken him. He felt the emptiness inside himself where there once flourished an overwhelming happiness, and knew that the change had been internal. He lay in bed for a long moment, staring at nothing in particular as he played the events of the last day through his mind. So much had been said, so much had been felt and he was sure there was more that should be said. But speaking was beyond them now, he had tried and gotten no answer. That had broken him more than he cared to admit. It was the first time she had never answered him, the first time she had truly blocked him out and it was the ultimate call to reality. He would not get a chance to salvage this.
In somewhat of a daze he went through his morning, showering and dressing all in silence. Even his mind was still, focused only on the tasks at hand. He tried not to think of her, of what she would say to him if she were there, of the way she would kiss his back, and the way her hands would linger on his shoulders for just that little bit of extra time. The sad reality is that he knew she cared for him, that she might be just as broken about this as him. But the timer had counted down.
He opened the front door, expecting the world to be the dreary gray that reflected his outlook on life, but the sun still shone outside. For some reason that made him smile, and the barrier around him that was smothering his heart in forlorn silence cracked a little. With each step the pieces jingled and jangled until they fell off, and he was basking in the warmth of his inner self. He thought about her smile, her laughter, her touch, the gasps, and all of the experiences they had together. He smiled, and savored each of the memories in turn, enjoying them now as much as when they had happened. He then took her memory, gathered it up in his thoughts and tucked it into a corner of his heart. He would love her forever, that much was certain.
This is his goodbye to her, his final promise that he will not forget her.
This and more at Synaptic Thought.
