…the door behind him. He leaned against it, feeling the heat from the day beating upon it’s exterior, as the cool wave of air from inside sent a chill over his body. An empty feeling came over him, and he wondered if this would be the first step that led to the end. This was not a new thought, however. He often worried that the walk down that path had started, for days at a time he would think that this would be the last time, but then he would see her again and things would be better than ever before.
He walked into his bedroom and carefully positioned himself, for he did not feel he had the heart to take off his shoes. The soft fabric felt cool against his body, he could feel it drawing the heat of the day away from him. How easy it would be to slip into sleep, to pass the time in oblivion. Sleep would not drive the feeling away, though, it would just hide it for a few hours. Letting himself sink further into the soft cushion of the pillows, his feet hanging off the edge of the bed, he stared at the ceiling. His mind wandered to the dark corners of his thoughts and he collected them all up, analyzing each as he tried to understand what it all meant.
It was something he had to do, though he knew the effect it would have would change nothing. Perhaps he could find a way to change things. Could one move the unmovable? He did not think so. He had no right to change things, anyway, even if he could affect change on them. The clock would continue to tick, and with every click of the minute hand things would move further and further away until the alarm went off. It wouldn’t be an alarm that he could hear, ironically it would be opposite.
Silence would be the product of this alarm. The door would close, and it would be over, and he would no longer hear her voice, her laughter, the swish of her bare feet flitting about. A part of him was okay with this, because that had been the deal and he was a man of his word. The other part he would not acknowledge, now, on that day, or ever. If only he could stop time, halt the trek of their journey and live in just that moment of their lives.
And with that thought sleep closed over him, his eyes closed and darkness descended. While he lay dreaming the clock on the wall sped by even faster.
This, and more, at Synaptic Thought.
