I’ve never been able to grasp the fact that diplomatic disputes are often lost over a single wrong word, or misunderstood phrase. To some degree I consider myself a very open person when it comes to communication. I’ll talk about whatever you like at pretty much any time. Even if it means something bad for me, or for you. I’m so focused on communication because I honestly am very terrible at picking up on clues when they relate to me. For other people I can see the writing on the wall as if it were penned in neon ink.
It is becasue I am so oblivious to what is going on in my own life that I try to be as easy as possible to communicate with. If I have a problem I try to be nonconfrontational, if I have some good news I try to be as direct with it as possible. I want people to be comfortable talking with me because I need them to talk to me. I need people to tell me that I’m being dumb about something, or that I am doing something really well. I just assume that if nothing is said, that I should maintian the status quo and keep on doing things the way I have been doing them.
Normally this works out for me, as long as people know that I’m not going to get sublety. There are times, though, in which it isn’t understood that I’m not going to get the picture, and I am ok with that, I have to adapt just as much as other people do. It just makes me sad because usually in those instances I end up doing something dumb because I didn’t know something I needed to.
I normally learn about my mistakes after it is too late to take them back. I guess at some point we all deal with the problem that we just aren’t understood, or that we failed in getting our point across in a manner that was reasonable and made sense. The problem I have then is that I end up living in the past, wishing I could go back and change that one thing that seems to have made everything else go wrong. I know there is nothing that can be done about it, and I try to move on at every chance I get, because living in the past doesn’t help anyone.
At times it’s just hard to really grasp that something that could have been was derailed by one misunderstood thought, or one reaction, or one little word said in the wrong tone. I’m learning though, and I see now why wars are started over simple things that grew out of proportion. I wonder if any of those leaders sit alone in the dark and wish they could go back to take that one word back. I’m not starting any wars, I know, so it is a hard comparison to make.
Just remember, every word we say changes our lives in some way. Some words are unimportant and make very little impact, some words are huge and change the way your life will be forever. And some words are unspoken.
This, and more, can be found at Synaptic Thought.
