In 1781 Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus. People everywhere are thanking him for this discovery, as the lame planet jokes about Uranus are way more worthwhile than the actual planet.

In 1877 Chester Greenwood patented the earmuff. Notice that his patent was for an earmuff, not earmuffs, Chester was slightly confused on human anatomy and thought that all you would need was one. Turns out Chester was missing an ear, guess he really did only need one.

In 1881 Tsar Alexander II was assassinated when a bomb was thrown at him near his palace. It is my understanding that a bomb is something that is planted, and used in explosions of the surprise nature. For example, planting a bomb in a car. A thrown explosive device is a grenade, and I think history would be more interesting if we could call this the first use of a grenade.

In 1930 it was announced that the planet Pluto had been discovered by scientist Clyde Tombaugh at the Lowell Observatory. What’s with today and finding planets? I’m so going outside and looking for a new one. The odds are great! Oh, and by the way Clyde, Pluto isn’t a planet anymore. Go take your hard work and flush it.