I sometimes wonder if the entire purpose of man is for God to observe a being who is confused 99.9% of their life. At least, it feels that I am confused that much most of the time. Let me put this straight though, I’m not confused in the “my life is over I can’t figure out what to do way” but in the “I really thought that “A” was true, but from what I can tell, maybe “A” isn’t true and “B” is true.” Explanation: My intuition tells me that something I have been thinking about may perhaps actually be accurate. My observations, however, tell me that perhaps my intuition is completely wrong.

Here’s the problem. It would be great if my intuition was right, because let’s face it, who want’s to be wrong? If my intuition were right, new doors would open for me, and life would be shiny and sparkly and grand. So, good things if I am right. If I am wrong, well, not so much all the goodness and such. And perhaps badness associated with the non-goodness. Yes, I realize I’m making up words. This is the one time in which I really wish life was like math. Stick with me, it’ll make sense. The whole point of a math problem is to figure out an answer, given conditions and constraints. So, we find out everything we need to know, lay out the facts, and crunch the numbers until we have a solution. The rub is, that in life, we don’t know everything we need to know. We can’t figure out X +4Y = 35 subject to Y = 5 because that last part about Y is completely missing. So we have to guess. I don’t know about most people, but I’m a little tired of having to guess. It would be great if life were like math, so we know everything we needed to know in order to make our decisions. Sadly, life is an equation with a big blank in the middle, and we’ve just got to try and figure out what goes there.

Will the world end if I make the wrong decision? No, it won’t. Will the world notice if I make the right decision? Doubtful at best. Maybe someone will come along and enlighten me to the facts about what I am pondering so I can make an informed decision, but honestly, I doubt that will ever happen. So, what do I do? Plunge ahead into the darkness, and hope I find a light inside.