So, I log onto Facebook, and I get a message at the top of my home screen: “Happy Birthday, Davin!”

Apparently it’s my birthday, and I didn’t even know it. I demand presents. You people are horrible, it’s my birthday and I didn’t get anything! I see how much all of you care. I WILL remember this the next time one of you has a birthday…whoever you people are that read this. Yah, you, I’m talking to you. Don’t look around, you’re the only one here! Yes, point to yourself. That’s it. Give me a present or your cat will go missing. I mean it. Now! Ok, so maybe I’m a little tired and have reached the silly point of the night. So what? Got a problem with that? I didn’t think so. Go read a newspaper!