First, to set the mood. Kick up the MP3 player with that love song CD I got a couple of years ago from someone that had my heart firmly twined around her finger, maybe a couple of sad songs to soothe the troubled soul, and a hopeful outlook on the future. That’s right, it’s that time of the year, when the country focuses on the one thing that I don’t think any one person really understands: love. Today marks the “loveliest” day of the year, and for some, one of the saddest, another reminder that despite how hard we try, we cannot make love work for us. It is enough to drive the most stable person batty, but this year, I am going to walk a different path, because honestly I really cannot stand to hash out how I cannot make any kind of real relationship work for me. So lovesick or not, stick with me for the next thousand words or so, as we explore the truth about this month.
Our language fascinates me, how we derive words from things that seem to have nothing to do with anything. One of those words is February. Latin anyone? The month of love, really is not that at all, but something completely different. The Latin root of the word is Februa, which was the feast of purification. So literary, February is the month of purification, or the month of correcting wrongs. You see, people have this nature about them, one that puts “me” first, and everyone else second. It is shameful, and we try to hide it as best as possible, but when it comes down to it, we are always number one in our lives. A sad byproduct of this lifestyle is that we often leave people by the proverbial roadside, stranded and hurt by our actions that sought to preserve our lifestyle of me first. We may have hurt someone we did not mean to, stepped on someone else on the way to the top, or whatever you choose your poison to be, but we have all done it. Look in anyone’s life and behind them you will typically see a trail of bruised people. Now the most fervrent argument I have heard is, “I’m not like that,” or “I would never do that,” or even worse, “I’m a Christian.” Truth is, we all hurt people. I have done it, and more than likely, I will do it again. You can make no excuse to me as to why it happens, except to simply admit that no matter who we are, we are greedy for ourselves. Now do not get me wrong, I am not hounding on human nature, I am part of the problem, but what I am doing is convincing you that you are part of the problem. Yah, you just rolled your eyes at me, but I do not care. See, that is part of our selfish human nature kicking in. Some of you are thinking, “I would never do that, how dare he say that about me!” All have sinned my friends, and hopefully now that you have realized that, we can move on.
So what does the month of purification really mean? Right now, to most of you, it means one of two things:
1. “Oh my God! I am so in love with him/her!”
2. “Oh my God! I am so lonely!”
That is not where our focus should be. You see, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs places Love and Belonging above the need for Safety. Included in safety needs are the need of morality, and the need of health, both physical and mental. Morally, we know it is wrong to hurt those around us. It hurts us when hurt others, but the world today has developed the idea that it is ok to step on people, it is what everybody does. Right now, I am saying that the world is wrong, that our actions toward other people should be paramount in our lives. Take the part of your “self” that is requiring you to be number one and toss it aside. We all are growing up in a society that takes hurting other people as just the cost of playing the game of life. It sickens me. Perhaps I am just bitter on this, the day of love, but I see a world that embraces love only when it fits into the big plan.
Back to righting the wrongs. You see, we all have a chance in the world. The great thing about humanity is once in a blue moon we can realize that perhaps our mode of operation is not the best way, so we adapt. I am calling for adaptation. There are things in my life that I know I need to change, feelings that I have to confront, and people I need to apologize to for the way I have treated them in the past. I know it is not going to be an easy road, that most people are not going to accept such a late apology. But this is my second chance, this is the month of righting the wrongs in my life. What does that mean to my friends? You may be receiving some form of communication from me, with an apology, an explanation, with me spilling my guts. You have two choices, ignore it, or acknowledge it. I am going to be honest in all that I say, and you can trust that I will be true to my word.
My challenge to you, the reader, is to do the same. It does not matter how you do it, but analyze your life, identify the things that you did wrong, accept that you did them wrong, and that it needs to be corrected, then correct the problem. I cannot say that the person you want to correct the wrong with will accept it, I am pretty sure some of the people I speak to in the next couple of days will not even listen to what I have to say, but that is their right. One of the problems of humanity is that we have to somehow believe that people deserve an apology from us. What a twisted view! We have done wrong, but if the person we wrong does not meet our approval for apology, they do not deserve one. What a self serving attitude, because with that view, few people will ever deserve an apology we do not want to give in the first place.
Now, I am going to do something I do not normally do. I know most people do not read this, and of the ones who do, fewer still care about my ramblings, but I’d like some feedback on this. You do not have to post who you spoke to, what the problem was, or anything of that nature, but I would like to know if you believe what I have written, if you tried to right a few wrongs, and how it felt. You can reply either on Xanga, where the original post is, or on Facebook, where this post gets imported to. Or, if you want to keep it personal, or between just us, email, leave a personal message, protected message, whatever. Not that I am trying to pry into your life, but this is something that has really been bugging me for awhile. That, and somewhere deep down I would like to know I am helping someone other than myself in this big, scary world.
