I’m not in a good mood. I got 4 hours of sleep last night, and 6:00 am I was crawling through the attic of the music building. Now I am sitting at a desk, pondering my life and lamenting. What does that mean for you, O Casual Reader of the Blog? Means I’m gonna post some ranting and raving and if you got a problem with it, well, I won’t go there.
Ever notice everything happens at once? Bad stuff likes to come in teams to beat you down and take your lunch money, while good stuff decides to take a decade long vacation. Fire the #$*@ good stuff and hire somebody else that will do the job better. I call for fairness reform. That kinda crap works in congress, maybe it’ll work in the world.
My little mood ring stress ruler says I am tense. I may leave work early today and just lock myself away and try to calm down. Fridays usually put me in a good mood. I get paid today, that should cheer me up. Instead it reminds me that I spent the summer working myself to death to get minimal compensation and little satisfaction from what I do. Yes, I know, I’m just saying that cause I’m not rosy red peachy keen happy pants today, but it’s when we are mad that we finally say what we really think.
What else sucks? Everything. I’ve been doing a bleedin’ good job of keeping my temper under control for the past year, trying not to let things get me upset, trying to be the “good person” everybody wants, and expects, to see. I’m fed up. My brother is in a church that completely abuses both him and me, expects us to do all the work, and we get no blasted thanks from it. I don’t mind doing the work, but don’t EXPECT IT FROM ME AND GET IN A FLAMIN TIZZY WHEN I DON’T HAVE IT DONE. Don’t give me crap about “we do appreciate you”. B.S! You appreciate the slave labor you get.
And of course this isn’t doing any good. I’m so angry I am to the point of knocking keys out of the stinkin keyboard with every stroke. It deserves it. So, this not the “accepted behavior” for an ordained person? A man of God. Guess what, we are human too. But unlike you, we have to suck it up and DEAL with it cause everybody expects us to be pristine. I’m tired of dealing. And this is the only way I can let it out cause I don’t have anybody to run to with my problems. I don’t have anybody to listen to my agony, no one to vent to. No one to yell at in substition for the thing I WANT TO YELL AT. Yah, see, that’s a great game that everybody likes to play. “I’m upset so I’ll beat on the pastor and he’ll make me feel better”. Enjoy it folks. Don’t be surprised if one day he beats back.
And you know what else sucks? I’m already feeling regret and remorse for stating my opinion. Cause see, I’m supposed to just take it, I’m supposed to just accept that I attract the bad stuff in the universe to abuse me. Not today, *#&% it.
I’m gonna be in a bad mood for a few days. If you talk to me and I run you over, sorry. I have a lot of crap on my plate.
